For reasons too complex to describe here, but which involve a goat and a spot of mistaken identity, Miss Celany Garden and her maid, Ulolulo, have swapped places, unbeknownst to her father, Judge Garden:
Judge Garden
stood outside the closed door of Celany’s room. He felt ridiculously
self-conscious as he shuffled around, like a schoolboy waiting for the
Headmaster’s call. ‘This is ludicrous’
he told himself, ‘I must take charge of this situation.’ He rapped smartly on
the door, flung it open and marched into the room. The effect was somewhat spoiled by one of the
hinges coming away from the door frame and the door, instead of crashing back
with maximum drama, lurching drunkenly into the room and hanging there
reproachfully. The Judge cleared his
throat, loudly. There was no response
from the figure sitting with her back to him in the dim candlelight by the
window. Judge Garden made a mental note
that Celany seemed to be putting on weight.
He coughed, more loudly this time. “Celany” raised the sampler that she
was working on above her shoulder and Judge Garden could see the text which
read:-
“Miz Celany has dun lost her voice. Doant come near coz what she has is real
infct…infsh…catching.”
“Oh, I see. Well, wrap up well and keep warm.” The Judge was always uneasy with ladies’
ailments, “drink plenty of Gin.” He
dimly remembered his late wife advocating that remedy.
Another
sampler appeared.
“Sho thing.”
It
read.
The
Judge retired, feeling somewhat cheated of his argument and worried about
Celany. Whatever it was she was
suffering from had not only taken her speech away, it had also bloated her
greatly and affected her use of language.
If she was no better in a week or so he would have to call the Doctor
and hang the cost.
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